I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
