rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
