She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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