dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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