If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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