she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
