There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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