maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
