Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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