Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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