this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
