I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
