Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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