What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
