found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
