I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
