Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
