apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
