im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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