My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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