u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
