we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
