you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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