We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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