have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
