I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
