You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
