It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
