He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize