why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
