READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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