wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
