I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
