just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize