Having a random hookup so left but love u
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
