She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
