The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
