These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
