That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
