I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
