Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
