her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize