So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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