Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
