i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
