She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize