can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need to sanitize my soul.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
