so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
