I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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