If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize