sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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