I want to make a zoo with you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
