I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Alive.
So much puke
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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