I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
