No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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