At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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