I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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