I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
