that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
