the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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