YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize