four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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