So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's even glitter on my cock...
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