In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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