My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
