I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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