well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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