Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
