What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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