he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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