so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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