is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
