if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
