I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize