i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
